The testimony of a 15 year old girl who was raised in a Christian home. She later backslid in her walk, found herself overdosing on drugs, dieing, and being sent to Hell. Fortunately, she was given a second chance and mission to go back and warn the lost, backslidden, and lukewarm with an urgent message.
God Bless you brothers and sisters, I'd like for you to open your bible and turn to Joel 2:28
"And afterward, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your old men will dream dreams, your young men will see visions."
My name is Jennifer Perez and I'm 15 years old. It's hard for a teenager like me to come to you and recognize my own mistakes. But with the help of the Holy Spirit, He will help me, and give me the strength I need. First of all I want to say that this is for the Honor and Glory of my Lord Jesus Christ. I don't want to say any doctrine or make up any new doctrine, I'm only going to tell you what I saw, what I heard, and what I felt.
I'd like to tell you a little bit about my family. My parents are Christians, and they aways taught me good examples, and the way of the Lord. I became a Christian 3 years ago, when I accepted the Lord with the brother Nicky Cruze. I walked in the ways of the Lord for 2 years. But when I started High School, I started getting rebellious and left the way of the Lord. I was rebellious to my parents and I got into drugs. My friends that taught me to do those things.
I thought I was a Christian, and that I would bring my friends to be Christians. But instead, they brought me back out into the world. I was being rebellious to my parents, and they thought it was just something teenagers go through. But in fact, it was what the drugs made me do. Evil spirits got into me, that was when I was being rebellious to them. They were strict on me, they never let me go out anywhere, not even spend a night over at a friends house. I always had to do everything sneaky or behind their back. I would skip school. I would hardly even go to school, just to keep my habit. I was at the point of getting addicted, but the Lord took me out of all that. Like I said, I was a Christian.
My testimony starts on May 2nd, 1997. I had a friend, and we were only friends, nothing more, and he knew that. I though I had gotten to know him, but in fact, I didn't really know who he was. That night, he called me and asked if I could go out. My parents weren't home. They were at a prayer meeting, like every Friday. I told them I wanted to stay home because I felt sick. I was also mad at them because I had plans to go out that night with a different friend, but my parents didn't let me go. So I asked to stay home, and they let me. When they went to the Prayer meeting, my friend called me. He said, "Why don't you go out, everybody else is going out?" I thought to myself, "I don't want to be disobedient to my parents, but maybe if I sneak out, my parents would never know", so that's what I did.
That night when my parents got home, and they fell asleep. I was all ready to sneak out so I called my friend and told him to wait for me at the corner of my street. I told him not to pass by my house, because it might wake up my parents, and ruin everything. So I put pillows under my blanket and climbed out of my window. I live in a two story house, and all the windows of my house have screws in them. But since my parents trusted me, my window didn't have any screws. So I took advantage of my parents trust. Since I live in a two story house, I jumped off the roof and I landed on the ground. The Lord had everything planned, because I could have broken my leg, and that would have stopped everything the Lord had planned for me.
I walked down the street, and my friend was already there. But when I got in the car, I saw 3 guys and 1 other girl. I though to myself, "I'm not going to do anything, yea, I'll get high, do drugs, drink". But when there are 3 guys and 1 other girl, I feared they could take advantage of me. But I got in the car, and we left. Before, when I was talking to my friend on the phone, he said that we were just going to go cruzing around the town. I said "OK that sounds like fun", that's why I went. I never though he was going to take me to a motel. That's were they took me.
When we got there, they dropped me off at a laundry service room, belonging to the motel. They told us to wait there, they said that they were going to pick up another friend. I said ok, but I guess they left to rent a room. When they came back and picked us up, they took us to that room. They said, "Don't worry, put your trust in us! We aren't going to do anything, we're just going to wait for our other friend to come, and then we'll all leave together". So I put trust in my friends, I though they would never hurt me, but in fact I really didn't know who my friends were.
At first, we were just talking, so I said, "while we're waiting, why don't we get something to drink?" So my friend and I left the room, and walked to this little restaurant in front of the motel. We bought three Sprites and then walked back to the room. They started pouring the Sprite into cups. They didn't bring a bag or anything that looked suspisious, that would make me think they were going to put something in my drink, or do something to me. It all looked innocent.
I went to the restroom to fix my hair and do girl things, and when I came out my cup was already served. I put some gum in my mouth, strawberry, and I drank what I thought was my Sprite. After this, I don't know what happened.
But when I could see, I felt my spirit come out of my body. I was already at the hospital, I saw the doctors and nurses all around me. When I was out of my body, I saw my body on the bed. You know how you look at yourself in the mirror, you see a reflection. But I didn't see a reflection of myself, I saw my body there on the bed. When I turned around, there were 2 men dressed in red, "come our way" and they grabbed me, one at each arm.
They took me to a place, and when I looked to see where I was, it was heaven! The first thing that I saw was a great big wall. It was white and stretched out so far that it didn't have any end. In the middle of the wall was a door, a long door, but it was closed.
In the Old Testament, Moses speaks of the tabernacle and describes its features. And I remembered this, and I saw that the wall looked like it. Right besides the door, there was a large chair, and there was a smaller chair on the right side. And they looked like they were made out of gold. On my right side, there was a large black door, it was so dark around, but I knew it was a door becaue of the knob. It was an ugly door. But on my left side there was a paradise, there were trees, a crystal clear water fall, grass. It was such a peaceful place, but there was nobody there.
I looked and I saw the Father in front of me, I couldn't see His face, because His glory, it was so big, so bright, it shined and lit up all heaven. His glory made everything bright. There was no sun, no moon, no stars, He was the light. I did see His body, and his body was with the Son, they were one inside each other, they were together, you could see the separation of them, but they were one inside the other, they were together.
Right beside them were 2 angels, Gabriel and Michael. The reason I knew their name was because it was written on their foreheads in Gold.
When I was in front of the Father, I felt dirty! I fell to my knees and cried. I was very ashamed of myself. Even if I could see their faces, I didn't want to, because I was ashamed of myself. As I was there in front of the Lord, He showed me a movie of my life, from the beginning until now. He told me that the most important part was the things that I did after I was saved. I told my friends I was a Christian, but in fact I didn't show my fruits. And He told me that I was destined to go to Hell.
The angel Gabriel came and grabbed me by my arm. He took me to that ugly black door that I didn't even want to look at. I tried to stop myself, but I was in spirit, and we went through the door. When I was on the other side of the door, it was dark all around, I couldn't even see myself. Then we started to fall really fast, like a roller coaster. As I was falling it was getting hotter and hotter. I closed my eyes, I didn't want to see where we were.
When we stopped, I opened my eyes, and I was standing on a great road. I didn't know where it lead to. But the first thing that I felt there was thirst. I was really thirsty! I kept telling the angel "I'm thirsty, I'm thirsty" But it was like he didn't even hear me. I started to cry, and when the tears ran down my cheeks, they completely evaporated. There was the smell of sulfur, like burning tires. I tried to cover my nose, but that made it even worse. All my 5 senses were very sensitive. When I tried to cover myself, I could smell the sulfar even more. Also, all those little hairs on my arms, they just disappeared. I felt all the heat, it was very hot.
When I started looking around, I saw people being tormented by demons. There was a lady there suffering, a demon was torturing her. This demon would cut off her head and with his long spear he would stab her everywhere. He didn't care. In her eyes, in here body, in her feet, in here hands, he didn't care. Then he would put her head back on her body and would stab her and stab her. She would cry with screams of agony.
Then I saw another demon, this demon was torturing a young man about the age of 21-23. This man had a chain around his neck, and was standing in front of a pit of fire. This demon would stab him everywhere with a long spear, in his eyes, everywhere. Then the demon would grab him by his hair and with the chains he would throw this man into this pit of fire, then take him back out and would stab him and stab him. This would go on continually, and every time he would go inside that pit, I couldn't hear his screams, but when the demon would take him out, he would scream with agony. I tried to cover my ears because the sound was so horrible, but I could still hear. My hearing was more sensitive.
I looked at another demon, and this demon was ugly, the other 2 were ugly to, but this one was the ugliest. He had characteristics of many different animals, I can't even explain it with words. He would go around and scare people, and the people would be really scared.
And then I saw another demon, but this demon was a beautiful demon, he looked like an angel of God, but he wasn't. The difference between the angels of God and the demons, was that the demon did not have their name written on their forehead with Gold, but the angels of God did.
After that, I looked back at the angel Gabriel, and he was looking up. I though he didn't want to see the others being tortured. I thought to myself, "why is he still here? Aren't I suppose to be there waiting for my turn to be tortured?" I was also thirsty. And I cried out to the angel, "I'm thirsty I'm thirsty!", I think he heard me because he looked down on me, and he said, "the Lord is going to give you one more chance."
Immediately when he said that, all my thirst, all my agony, all my hurting, it just went away. I felt peaceful. And then he grabbed me by my hand and we were about to rise, but suddenly I heard my name being called, "Jennifer, Help me, Help me!" I looked down. I wanted to see who it was, but when I did the flames blocked their face. It sounded like a girl's voice. I could only see her hands stretched out, wanted me to help her. I had such a desire, such a want to help her. When I tried, I couldn't, because my hand went right through hers. I wanted to help her so much, but you see, she didn't have any hope. I couldn't help her.
And then I looked around and I saw my friends, people that I knew, and other people. They looked familiar but I didn't know who they were. I didn't know their lives, but when I saw friends from my school there, it hurt me!. I though to myself, "maybe the bad testimony that I was giving them, of saying that I was a Christian but turning back, made them not want to know about God, and turn away from Him. Maybe it was me that brought them their". That's what I thought. I saw that in Hell there is no time, there is no past, present, future, everything is the same, they are destined to go their. But like I said in the beginning, I don't want to make up any doctrine, but that is what I saw their. The people that I saw there are still alive today.
Then the angel took me back into the presence of God. When I was standing before Him I was on my knees crying and crying. I still didn't want to look upon His face, because I was ashamed of myself. But the Lord, with such sweetness in His voice said, "I love you" Just like He loves you who are listening to me. But He told it directly to me. He said He forgave me for everything that I have done when I offended Him. He forgave me.
God looked at me and He showed me many things. He showed me the world, the earth. Around the earth I saw something soft, like the ozone layer, it was around the world, it looked very soft, and I had such a desire to touch it. When I touched it, I realized it was the Holy spirit, because it baptized me, and I began to speak in other tongues.
During that time, I looked up and many evil spirits came out of me. When I would get high and do drugs, that would mess with my mind and would open doors, and these evil spirits would come into me. They would torture me. The way that I would act was not really me, it was the evil spirits inside of me. In the Word of God it says that when your house is cleaned, evil spirits would try to come back by bringing 7 other evil spirits. My house was cleaned when I got saved. And I saw these evil spirits when I was being babtised, they have 7, and those have other 7, and those had other 7, and I couldn't even count them all! But the Lord cleaned me of all those evil spirits.
He also showed me the future. He showed me the Earth and how things were going to happen, events that were going to happen. The vision I was given was from now until rapture. He didn't show me the rapture, but He showed me the things that were going to happen before that. Each day we are getting closer and closer, and I'm telling you that the rapture is near! You need to examine yourself, your life, and ask yourself, "am I ready to go with the Lord?" The Lord showed me this, but He told me not to tell anybody, but to wait and see that the end is near, I don't want to temp God, that is why I won't tell you what I saw. But I am telling you and warning you that the rapture is near.
I read in Joel 2:28, it is one of the last prophecies, all of them have been fulfilled. This prophecy is the only one that hasn't been fulfilled, and I tell you now that is it being fulfilled. Many young people are rising up and preaching the Word of God. The devil wants to make an army of young people, but the Lord is more powerful. And if you really accept the Lord and want to serve Him, He will give you the strength to overcome the devil, so you can preach the word all around the world, just like He commanded in the Bible.
He told me that I had a mission, and this mission was to tell all the young people about my vision. Even if I don't want to do this, its a commandment that the Lord gave me me, and I will complete it.
When I went back to my body, I woke up and found myself in the Hospital. I looked around and saw needles in my arms, things checking my heart, tubes. Soon my parents walked in and I started crying. They looked very mad, but the Lord told me to tell them everything, and that's what I did. I told them everything.
When the nurse walked in, she told us they were very very worried about me. She said I would leave and then come back, then leave and come back. I'd be unconsciouses then conscious again. This happened three times. They said that one of those times, I didn't want to come back, and they were worried about me. They also said that foam would come out of my mouth, and I would blabber words that they didn't even understand.
Also that night, my mom was having bad dreams. The little dog that I sleep with went into my parents room and scratched my moms arm and tried to wake her up. When she woke up, she walked to my room and saw the pillows fixed there. She thought that I was there so she walked back to her room. Then she saw police lights outside the window. When she looked out the window, she saw policemen walking to our house so she woke up my Father. The police told them to call the police department to find out about me. My parents found out that I was over intoxicated in the Hospital. At that moment, the Lord spoke to my father and told him not to worry, because everything was in HIS hands, so my father didn't worry. I spent three days in the hospital.
A week later we talked to the detectives, and they told us about that night. They said that the other girl I was with, she was not suppose to go out either, and her father got all worried. He went looking for her, driving around, but couldn't find her. So he went to the police department, and the police announced the kind of car that my friend was driving to all the patrol cars. A certain off duty officer, was across the street at a car dealership. He was looking to buy a used car. He glanced over and saw the car of my friend, so he called the police.
When the police went to investigate, my friend's car was parked in another spot, so they didn't know where she was. We were on the 2nd floor in the corner room. The police wanted to start from that room, and walk down to check each room, asking for the owner of the car outside. They weren't looking for the girl, they were just looking for the owner.
When they knocked on our door, they opened the door and saw me on the floor. But then they left. My so called friends thought that the police left for good, but in fact they left to get an ambulance. Soon other police came up there to see what was happening. When they opened the door, at that moment, my friend, the one I was talking to, the one I trusted, he was at the point of raping me. But the Lord used the police to stop all that, and they didn't do anything to me. That is why I thank the Lord, because He had mercy on me.
And also the prayers of my parents, I'm talking to you parents. Don't ever stop praying for your child. If they aren't walking with the Lord, keep on praying for them, never give up. My parents never game up, and look where I am now, preaching the Word of God; telling young people to come serve God, because they need Him.
And I want to give a message to all the young people, I want you to think of yourself, examine yourself. Think, why should I care what anyone says about me. I used to think what other people might say about me, but now I understand that they don't even care about me. They are not going to be there when the Lord is right in front of me. I remember when I was in front of the Lord, my friend weren't there to help me, my family wasn't there to help me, my pastor, the church wasn't there to help me. I was there by myself, and I had to defend myself. In front of Him you can't lie, because He is so holy. And when I was there I didn't feel like I belong there, because I was in sin and in Heaven it is holy.
I told you today that if you haven't accepted the Lord Jesus, to accept Him today. This is the most important decision in your whole life. I'm not telling you all this to scare you into Heaven, but so you can see the mercy, the love that He has for us. He the Father, sent His Son to die for us. So each little drop of blood that was shed would forgive all of our sins. If you want to accept the Lord, it is the most important decision in your life. Come to the Lord, don't care what anybody else says about you.
If you want to server the Lord, then do it with all your heart, don't just say it with your mouth, say it with your heart and mind. Don't worry about the future, worry about today, you never know when you are going to die. I'm only 15 years old and in my mind I never thought that I was going to die at 15, never.
But you need to think about that. My life isn't mine, your life isn't yours, we are bowwowing our lives, our lives belong to God. We take advantage of this by not caring, by going into the world, by doing the things of the world. The world has many things to offer, but remember God has even more things to offer. The world has hell and death, but God has eternal life. Eternal life is forever.
Right now if you want to accept the lord, I want you to bow your head and close your eyes, "Lord God, in the name of Jesus I come to you, O my Lord God at this moment I want to accept you as my Saviour, I want you to come to my life. Like the sister said about her testimony that Hell is real, she was there. Lord God, I don't want to go there, I don't even want to think of going there. Lord God I ask you to forgive me for all the sins I have committed. Forgive me for everything that I have done. Every little secret sin, my Lord God, I reveal them to you, so please forgive me for all that. Lord God I believe that You died on the cross and that Your rose from the dead. I believe that You will come into my heard and that You will reign in my heart, and be in my heart. I will read Your word, and I will be more in the Word. I'll go to Church, my Lord God because I know that You are there at Church. You said that when two or three are gather together, You are there. My Lord God I want to be where You are. I pray all this in Jesus name, Amen"
If you prayed this prayer, I want to welcome you into the Kingdom of Heaven. Now you have brothers and sisters all around the world. This is the most important decision that you will ever make so don't take advantage of it. Don't go back into the world. The world leads to death, but God leads to eternal life. At each moment you need to live like it is the last day, and the last time of your life. If this testimony has touched your heart, give it to a friend, so that they might also accept God into their heart. Don't let this time just pass by, because this could be your last time.
Hell is real, I went there!
by Jennifer Perez
10 comments:
Jennifer, thank you for your testimony "Hell is real" -- how very true this is.
Our God the Holy One of Israel has a zero tolerance policy when it comes to sin. This is not to say that we can't err, but when we do, we need to ask the Holy Spirit to help us return to fellowship with Father and the Son who are One. Because we are human this means that we need to keep in constant prayer.
Sin has turned this Paradise of God into a dry desert. Here demons of all descriptions roam around. Inwardly they are equally diabolical, all destined for the pit for they have sinned the unforgivable sin against the Spirit Himself.
Similarly people who knowingly rebel against God end up with hardened hearts, a terrible and lethal condition.
When faced with people who had hardened their hearts to His Word even the mighty Son of God Himself could do nothing. The Holy Spirit ever the Gentleman waits patiently for that personal 'invitation' before entering man's holy of holies, though He be God.
May God in His infinite wisdom give you a ministry worthy of the enormous grace He has showered upon you. May each and every demon you encountered thus far, be kept firmly under your heel until their appointed time.
What a blessing!
Amen and Hallelujah.
I do believe in God, and the bible and bible alone. Didn't you read the bible? Nothing will happen before the Judgement day. When you die, you will only sleep. Your soul goes back to God. When Jesus comes, only then He will start judging anyone according to their own works. Remember what the bible says, test all spirits. Many false prophets will rise into this world. No matter what, read the bible carefully. The bible and the bible alone.
Wow...Amazing....don't ever get tired of doing good things for God,"For the joy of Lord is my streng"(Neh.8:10),Always..remember this...
Yeah, I agree Jennifer's testimony. I also experience that the spirit left my body when the time I can't pray
Thanks for your testimony,
I praise the Lord almighty for the favour he's done to you. I hope many youth and older ones will be touched, in their hearts, by the Holy Spirit, while you tell your story.
Knowing GOD (=theology) is good and I want again to thank you for the picture you show from him.
Maby you could check again your text for the few "spelling" mistakes.
Be blessed
Jennifer thank you for what you have done in your honesty and love for The Lord God thank you for your testimony that others may read and understand to of the importance of what our Lord God said to you and returned you so that you could witness to us. with out Jesus in our heart without our acceptance of him as our Lord and Saviour we are dead to hell. Through Jesus dying on the Cross through him rising to Heaven Alive on the 3rd day Through the forgiveness of Jesus as we pray to him for the forgiveness of our sins through his unconditional love for us that goes beyond all our understanding he loves us so much we belong to HIM NOT TO HELL we can go to Heaven to be at Home with our Father and Jesus And The Holy Spirit just pray the sinners prayer and ask Jesus into your heart today just as Jennifer did and I did and many many many others have and more will do. Bless your Jesus Amen.
Hi Jennifer,
Thank you for that wonderful Sharing, and I was so touch with your testimonials, It is show that there was hope for the hopeless and forgiveness of our FATHER-and-SON our Lord, Jesus Christ who dies on the cross for us....
Your story inspired me, this very date I feel I’m so lost and my what is my purpose on this world and I don’t know it, I knew by myself that I LOVE GOD, but my actions doesn't show it. My heart wants to serve and obey but my mind doesn’t want to give in.
Its very hard to live in this world, Flesh always prevail and its really happening, without the HOLY SPIRIT and Grace of GOD we cant do this with our own.
In this very day I'm committing my life to Jesus Christ and come back to his word, I decided to serve him and him alone. I commit and decide starting this day I’m belong to LORD JESUS, I ask forgiveness on every sins and I will continue praying for forgiveness, for my great sins, little, secret sins, unconscious sins. I know they are barriers for me to feel the SPIRIT of the LORD, but like what I said GOD is moving, GOD is ALIVE and when MY HEART DESIRE FORGIVENESS, He brought me in your blog, I’m so Touch, I’m so Inspired, I’m so Ashamed, I’m so weak to sins.
GOD is awesome for bringing hope to the hopeless, for bringing peace, and I know If I die today I can say to the LORD, I’m ready but I know like you I have my purpose and if I will pray with all my heart the purpose of my Existence in this world, Everyone of us have one purpose, and to Love and serve GOD with all our Heart but in different ways.
I want to share you the List of songs that inspired me they all belong to Hillsongs, the order were from Lord’s Forgiveness – Dedication of life – Forever
• AT THE CROSS
• I GAVE YOU MY HEART
• HEART OF WORSHIP
• I SIMPLY LIVE FOR YOU
• POWER OF YOUR LOVE
• LET THE PEACE OF GOD REIGNS
• FOREVER
• I LOVE YOU SO MUCH
I just feel my spirit was revived and I’m ready to faced the challenged of life, may Our Lord Forgive all our sins, and continuously merciful to his People.
I also want to share you that I’m a type of person who desires so much power, wealth, pride, there was endless battle in my mind that I should achieve this things be powerful and everything will be yours, MONEY, POWER and FAME.
It wasn’t easy to deal with this weakness; you’ll need the help of the HOLY SPIRIT, Grace of the most HIGH to overcome this one, because of continuous search I did to myself the HOLY SPIRIT reveal all of this.
That one day you will die and we will face the LORD, we can’t back all the things we have done, But He said to his word that if we Pray with all our Hearts and sincerely ask for FORGIVENESS our sins will be wash away, GOD will give us new LIFE, New Meaning and New Wisdom.
I was so ashamed to GOD, How many times I ask for forgiveness but I fail to do the right thing, it’s like I’m doing the same mistake again, and again. I can’t help others, I must start on myself first, to be strong Man of GOD, walking straight towards Light, I’m Praying right now Lord that you Guide my every actions that I can guide other towards the Light not them to Guide me to darkness
Once, again I’m so thankful LORD for this wonderful day that I may start my Journey with New Life and New Revelation of your WORD.
Thank you Jennifer for you testimonial and I will share the link to my friends, family, and love ones, Thank you for sharing that and may I achieved what you achieved “the purpose” you have deliver well your purpose.
GOD BLESS,
Ralph
Good day, To Everyone
It’s very hard but we have to decide, I decide now to Drop my ambitions for GOD, I am now contented of what I have right now, and I know SATAN will temp me for this, and once offer the WORLD / FLESH for me, But I say Now I will ask for God’s protection
God said in HIS WORD, Isaiah 6: 10 – 18 ARMOUR OF GOD
• Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.
• Put on the whole armour of God,that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
• For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
• Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God. That ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
• Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;
• And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace
• Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked
• And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
• Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;
GOD BLESS
RALPH
Hello Christian Friend,
Thank you for your testimony. As Iread though it, one thing came to mind. Experience does NOT validate the Truth of God's Word. It is TRUE no matter what we say!Christ Jesus said so...!
(John 17:17) Sanctify them through Your truth. Your Word is truth.
Please vist my Blog too?
http://truth459.blogspot.com/
Thanks, In Christ, Roger / Florida / USA.
SHALOM!!!
As I read your testimony, I was so blessed that GOD has a perfect plan for each every individual. Though this testimony made me blessed, I felt a little guilt in my heart, coz since I was a kid..I usually go to church and would serve the Lord...I'm so sad coz right now..I can say that I am inactive to church due to my schedule as a working student. It's my heart's desire to worship the Lord for I have been our Church's worship leader but right now..I can't do this responsibility..I maybe inactive in church but deep inside my heart..I really really love and adore our Almighty God..No one can ever take His place inside my heart..I'm really confused if right now I'm committing a sin...
One more thing and I may say the most difficult situation I'm into is that....I feel like I'm not worthy to serve the Lord, coz I feel so different with other normal people..I always tell myself that I dont belong to anybody coz once they know who I am..they will not understand and would probably not accept me..I felt so sorry for my life..I wish I was like them...I always think that God may understand me...
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